Self-judgement is sometimes just the thing that holds us back from living well.
Every day we are making judgements. In fact, this is characteristic of human behaviour. We make assumptions and develop our opinions about things around us.
Self-judgements are the opinions that we make about ourselves. These can be healthy and useful if used positively in helping you to understand something and then to take action.
However, negative self-judgements, even ones like, “I can’t believe I did that again!” or “I should have known better!” are unhealthy and can lead us to a form of self-pity and increased negativity, further breeding fear, anxiety, anger, and cycles of depression.
Over the past two years my own self-judgement voice was elevated.
As a mom, a partner, a friend and an entrepreneur, this voice grew harsher. It was like a snowball; starting small and gaining momentum.
For me this was unusual as I often have a sunny disposition. This self-judgement created more stress in my body and what I learned, was that my own self-judgement was the biggest obstacle between me and what I wanted.
This was holding me back.
How do you stop all the self-judgements?
There are many ways, but some ways I find work best are:
- Becoming aware of your own self-judgement - strengthen with mindfulness practices.
- Being open to see things differently - you are already doing this by reading this!
- And something that can at times be so hard… Loving yourself.
A special soul delivered this to me and it feels like the perfect way to start to flip self-judgement on it’s head.
Are you really lazy?
Or recovering and recuperating
from all the responsibilities
that you have.
Are you really snippy?
Or did you finally stand up for yourself
without thinking
about the consequences.
Are you really stubborn?
Or do you just follow through consciously
and sincerely
your own route and intuition.
Are you really weak?
Or did you have to be strong for so long
until there was little left.
Are you really boring?
Or is it that you don't do justice
in big groups
and enjoy the small.
Are you really naive?
Or do you mean
that you are carefree
daring to walk new paths.
Just stop
with all these judgements
turn them around
and make them positive.
The secret
lies in the art
of loving all sides of yourself
love...
©️ Happy with yourself
Seeing these in a different light can have a profound impact on how you move through your day.
If you want a life with more pleasure, to advance in your job, get closer to a goal, be in a healthy relationship, get in shape, be more present as a parent; then your self-judgement needs to be softened and re-evaluated.
Quote of the week
"Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn't worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens." Louise L. Hay
So try and be just a little kinder to yourself today.
Melissa x
P.S. Practice becoming aware of your self-judgement voice through doodling. As you enjoy these mindful Guided Activity Books, notice when your judgmental voice comes in, acknowledge and then continue on doodling.